It sounds like you and your son are very motivated to solve his bed wetting. I know he sleeps through the wetting episode and would like to know when he should get up and go to the bathroom. Some children develop this ability quickly, when they are getting day toilet trained. Others, like your son, need some help in getting that brain-bladder connection when they are asleep. Using a tool like a bedwetting alarm will speed up the process of learning how to wake up to a full bladder.

Bedwetting alarms sense wetness, and then sound at precisely the moment that wetting occurs. Initially, you may need to help him wake to the alarm and remind him to get up and walk to the bathroom. Over time, his bladder will stop the urine stream in response to the sound. Then you’ll notice that he has urine left to empty in the toilet. Eventually, he’ll learn to wake up before he wets or hold his urine until morning. The average time to dryness is about 8-12 weeks, so it is important to be patient. However, a few weeks is much better than waiting a few years for him to spontaneously learn how to wake up before wetting.

The best thing about using a bedwetting alarm is that it’s a permanent solution. Once he learns how to wake up if he needs to urinate in the night, he’s just like you and me. A full bladder triggers your body to wake up and walk to the bathroom, not let it out in bed. He can then stay dry, no matter how much or what he has had to drink.

The missing piece for most children with bed wetting is the ability to independently arouse from sleep to the feeling of a full bladder. Some children can do this from the time they are day toilet trained; others take longer and might need a little assistance. Bedwetting alarms speed up this development and provide a long lasting cure to the bedwetting problem.

Bedwetting alarms sense the wetness and sound to alert you and your son that he needs to wake up and walk to the bathroom. Over an average of 10-12 weeks, he will develop the ability to do this by himself. The first two weeks are the hardest and he may not even respond to the loud alarm. You should go to his room when you hear his alarm, remind him what is happening and assist him to the bathroom. He may have no urine left to empty in the toilet in the beginning. Over time, he will start having smaller wet spots in his bed and urine left to empty out when he uses the toilet. Ultimately, his body will learn to wake up to the feeling of a full bladder or hold the urine until he wakes in the morning,

Providing your son with the right “tool” to permanently stop his bedwetting in a few weeks will be a step in the right direction. Most kids are cooperative and so grateful to have something that will make a difference. The Malem Ultimate alarm, which is a wearable alarm that sounds and vibrates, is popular with boys his age. The Rodger wireless is also a great choice. The sound unit is located across the room, which encourages him to get out of bed to turn it off. You might let him look at the different options, look at the alarm videos and select the color and style he would most like to use.

The components are:
1) The bedwetting alarm of your choice. You can choose a wearable alarm like the Malem Ultimate, or a wireless alarm like the Rodger wireless.
2) Two waterproof washable mattress overlays. These are essential for the children who are transitioning from disposable pants to cloth underwear. (Recommended when you begin using an alarm). Middle of the night clean-up is so much easier when you just remove the soiled pad and quickly replace it with a clean one. Morning laundry is just a pad or two, rather than entire sets of sheets. I recommend the overlays with the tuck in flaps, which stay in place even with a child’s movement.
3) The book “Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness”. This book guides you with using the alarm, what to expect, what the parents’ role is, and how long things take. Knowing what to expect makes using a bedwetting alarm easier for everyone. “Unrealistic expectations” is the number one reason that families fail to be successful when using an alarm.

Call us (800-214-9605) if you have any questions about the Alarm Starter Kits. If there is an alarm that you want, but it’s not offered in a Starter Kit, call us and we will create a Starter Kit just for you.

“Our daughter was interested in using the potty by herself in the daytime at a young age and she was fully day trained before she was 2. We did not worry about night time dryness, assuming it would sort out spontaneously, but it frustrated her a great deal by the time she was 3 and 4. Her frustration mounted over time, with many morning tantrums over waking up wet. We then tried all of the standard approaches, including setting alarms for us and trying to wake her at assorted times during the night. Basically, she slept so deeply it was impossible to wake her up, and so all failed.

At 5, she informed us that her friends slept dry, and this was not fair. We did some research and talked with her about using an alarm; we explained how they work, and that she would have to decide to listen to her body in the middle of the night, and get up to use the bathroom until her bladder learned to hold all night long. Several weeks later she announced that she would like to have the alarm. I purchased the Rodger wireless alarm, as she often does not like to wear a shirt to sleep in at night, and we did not want to add any additional stress. Based on advice in the other reviews, we also purchased 3 pads and 2 addition sets of alarm underwear (a total of 3 changes all around), the remote alarm for our room, and the vibration alarm for under her pillow since she was such a deep sleeper. We unpacked together, set everything up, let her pick the alarm tone, and practiced several times before bedtime – she pretended to sleep, we set off the alarm artificially, and she had to get up, turn it off herself, and walk to the bathroom with us, sit on the toilet, and at least try to pee.

She was so enthusiastic we were concerned that it might not work, or could take several months, increasing her frustration instead of getting to a solution – so we made sure to talk about how her body might take some time to learn, and she would have to be patient, and tried to set her sights on success in a month or two and not in a few days. The first night, we were up three times, with full floods, and I was very glad of the extra changes for everything – it made getting though possible for all of us. The second night, one flood, and one partial wet. The third night, one partial wet, and one drop, The fourth night, one drop. The fifth night, nothing.

Her ability to wake up changed dramatically as well, the first time the alarm went off, she didn’t budge for several minutes (and believe me, it is LOUD), however, we followed the instructions to the letter, and encouraged her but made sure that she was the one to sit up and turn it off, and walk to the bathroom on her own, etc. By the second night, we were able to encourage her more, because the volume of urine was so clearly so much less, which really resonated with her. By the third night it was clear to all of us it was working, and her enthusiasm for the project, already extremely high, only increased – and the rest is history.

We stayed with the system until she was fully dry for 14 days, as suggested – she did have a few in between lapses, aka she would go totally dry for a week, and then have an alarm for a tiny tiny leak. In all, it was one month from start to finish. It’s now been four months, and not even an accident. I can’t say enough about how well this worked, or recommend it highly enough. Finally, there were no issues with the purchase, everything arrived promptly and in good conditions, and the quality was excellent. Hope this helps anyone on the fence – it was a big investment, but well worth alleviating this incredible frustration for our daughter and empowering her to participate in a solution”.

Each year, 15% of bedwetters spontaneously become dry. The other 85% will continue to wet for another year or until parents do something to speed up the progress. It sounds like your 8 year old is ready for that help to stop her bedwetting. It is frustrating for kids who sleep right through the episode of wetting. In the morning, the bed or pull-up is wet and she doesn’t know when it happened.

Bedwetting alarms are the solution! The moisture sensor detects the wetness and lets you know when the wetting is occurring. The alarm sounds and/or vibrates to alert you to make sure your daughter gets up to walk to the bathroom. Over time, her brain begins to make the connection of the loud sound, a full bladder and walking to the bathroom.

Take time to read a few of the reviews that other parents have written about their experience with the Malem Ultimate or the Rodger wireless or Malem wireless alarms. Many of these parents commented that they wished they had tried the alarm sooner or that they were skeptical, but the alarms worked so well. Bedwetting alarms are an effective type of behavioral conditioning and work well for even the heaviest sleepers. The best part is that this is a permanent solution with a low relapse rate. Once your daughter learns to wake up when she has a full bladder, she can walk herself to the bathroom and be free to accept sleepover invitations whenever she wants.

This mother also mentions that she wished she had used this method sooner, a sentiment that I hear frequently. If your child is school age and wetting most nights, I highly recommend trying a bedwetting alarm. Your child should be cooperative and excited to find a solution. If you aren’t seeing that yet, it’s okay to offer helpful suggestions until he or she is ready for a permanent cure. Bedwetting alarms are not scary–they are small, colorful, make lots of cool sounds and help kids make rapid progress toward dry nights. It may be the best money you’ll spend this summer. Solving this problem lets your child have a worry-free summer: going to camp, spending the night with friends and relatives and looking forward to the next school year.

LoveToKnow Kids recently had the pleasure of speaking with Renee Mercer, a Nurse Practitioner with more than 25 years of experience in pediatrics. Her book, Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness, offers valuable advice for parents who are working with their children in order to achieve nighttime dryness. In conjunction with using a bedwetting alarm, this book provides the tips to have your child waking up dry in 10 to 12 weeks.

LoveToKnow (LTK): What sparked your professional interest in bedwetting?
Renee Mercer (RM): After many years of working in a primary pediatric practice, I saw the frustration that parents and kids felt when they came back for annual check-ups, with bedwetting continuing to be a problem. The response, “Don’t worry, they’ll grow out of it,” wasn’t enough. They wanted solutions. My book, Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness, was designed to provide solutions, based on experience that I’ve gained working exclusively with bedwetting children.

LTK: Which cases in your pediatric office inspired you to write your book?
RM: Teens who felt that they could not go to camp or on school trips, younger kids who did not see a way out of wearing pullups to bed, and plenty of frustrated parents were individuals that I saw on a regular basis. Many families were embarrassed and felt hopeless that there was no cure for bedwetting.

Bedwetting Basics

LTK: Why do some kids wet the bed?
RM: Bedwetting has several causes: decreased sleep arousal, small bladder capacity, high nighttime urine production, constipation, and heredity all can play a role. Often, a child will have a combination of these things. Children with bedwetting have not developed the ability to wake up when their full bladder needs to be emptied.
Children who still wet the bed are great kids: smart, athletic, great personalities, and no different than other children their age. They do not wet the bed on purpose and usually sleep through the wetting episode.

LTK: What percentage of children wet the bed?
RM: If your child wets the bed, he is certainly not alone! 13 percent of 6 year olds wet the bed, 5 percent of 10 year olds, and 1-2 percent of 18 year olds.

LTK: How long can bedwetting go on?
RM: 15 percent of bedwetting children will become dry each year without intervention while 85 percent will continue to wet the next year. The incidence of bedwetting decreases as kids get older so we believe there is a developmental component that helps with this. Sleeping less soundly, having a larger bladder capacity, and being able to recognize body signals may play a role. Bedwetting can certainly persist into the teen years, however, and there is no guarantee of an age that bedwetting will stop. Treatment can decrease the length of time families have to deal with bedwetting by years.

Achieving Dryness

LTK: What can parents do to help their children?
RM: If your child is over six and wets every night, using a bedwetting alarm can speed up the development of learning to wake up to a full bladder. Using an alarm requires cooperation from child and parents, so choosing a low stress time, without a lot of family obligations, is best.
If your child is younger than five or six and has nightly bedwetting, using disposables to help with the laundry burden is fine. Also, there are other temporary solutions which are appropriate.
Make sure your child is well-hydrated during the day so he isn’t so thirsty in the evening. Water should be the preferred beverage after dinner. Urinate twice before bed, about 20-30 minutes apart. Observe that your child has a regular bowel movement most days. If not, increase daily fiber intake because constipation can contribute to wetting.

LTK: How can bedwetting be stopped?
RM: Temporary solutions include wearing disposable Pull-ups, walking the child to the bathroom when parents go to bed, using an alarm clock set at an arbitrary time (there is no way to know exactly when the child needs to go to the bathroom) or using medication. Medication works by decreasing the amount of urine produced during the night. It does not provide a permanent solution because the wetting restarts when the medicine is stopped, unless the child has learned to wake up to a full bladder.

A permanent solution is to use a moisture sensing bedwetting alarm. This sounds at the first drop of urine to alert the user that they should get up. This behavioral conditioning is very effective in helping a child’s body begin to make the nighttime brain-bladder connection. The feeling of a full bladder means wake up and walk to the bathroom.

Nighttime Training

LTK: How long does the training period for achieving dryness with an alarm typically last?
RM: It takes about 10-12 weeks for the average child to achieve dryness while using a bedwetting alarm. Without the use of a teaching tool, such as a moisture sensing bedwetting alarm, it can take years.

LTK: What should parents do when the alarm goes off during the training period?
RM: When the alarm sounds, go to your child’s room to ensure that they are responding. They must learn to turn off the alarm, get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

LTK: Isn’t it easiest to just wait until a child grows out of bedwetting?
RM: It might be easiest to ignore wetting but having years of missed sleepover invitations, multiple loads of laundry every day and hundreds of dollars spent on disposables make it beneficial to tackle bedwetting sooner rather than later. Research shows that bedwetting negatively affects children’s self-esteem, and stopping bedwetting allows self-esteem to rise. Would you tell your teen with acne not to worry, she’ll outgrow it, when there are effective treatments available?

LTK: What is the most important piece of advice you would offer parents whose children occasionally wet the bed?
RM: Observe for factors that may play a role in the wetting. These include: being overly tired, over drinking beverages other than water, being sick, medications, stress, forgetting to urinate before bed, urinary tract infections, among others. Do your best to limit these situations. If wetting occurs, be accepting, help change bedding and know that your child is not wetting on purpose.

If you’d like to give your bedwetting child a boost of confidence, and the freedom to attend sleepaway camp and slumber parties at friends’ houses, pick up a copy of Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness from an online bookstore or bedwettingstore.com. Both your child and you will be reaping the benefits in a few short months.
Author: Rachel Hanson

I can honestly tell you that my patients do not describe this alarm as being uncomfortable. Some of the kids mention that wearing a smaller, closer fitting shirt is best so the alarm unit doesn’t move around as much when they move in their sleep. The sensor cord is attached to the alarm unit with a plastic “phone jack” and does not pull out with movement. Since the sensor cord is situated under the shirt, it moves as your child moves, with little chance of it being tugged on with movement.

If your child is concerned about the placement on the shoulder, a wireless alarm, such as the Rodger wireless or Malem wireless would be a good choice. With the wireless alarms, nothing is situated on the shoulder. The transmitter is snapped on the waistband (Rodger) or magnetically clips to the waistband (Malem). The alarm that sounds is located across the room. With the DRI Eclipse alarm, a small wafer like transmitter is placed inside a pull-up or pantyliner. Again, the alarm is across the room, not on the shoulder.

There are so many comfortable bedwetting alarm options that you and your child should be able to choose what will work best for your situation. If you have additional questions, call our helpful Customer Service team at 800-214-9605.

Congratulations to your son on the great progress that he has made! Readiness for sleepovers often depends on the child, the comfort level with the family he’ll be staying with and the child’s confidence. If he wants to give it a try, he’ll probably do just fine. Often the kids are more careful about the fluid intake, double voiding before bed and don’t sleep as long or as deeply as they do at home. (You can gently remind him of those things before he goes). Some kids take their own sleeping bag with a waterproof pad pinned on the inside, or use a waterproof sleeping bag liner, as a back up. Have you ever seen him get up to urinate on his dry nights, before the alarm sounds? Once he can do this regularly, he will be totally dry.
After he is successful at the sleepover, I would still recommend that he wear the alarm until he has 14 consecutive nights of dryness.

This is a very common concern of parents. The general consensus is that nighttime dryness can follow daytime dryness by months or even years. Here are 8 things that you can do to help with night time potty training:

1) Daytime dryness should be established first. Make sure she is reliably dry in the daytime, knows when she needs to use the bathroom and has soft, regular bowel movements.

2) Encourage drinking and frequent toileting during the daytime. Fluids after dinner should be water, not milk or juice, in a small quantity.

3) Double void before bed. This means making sure she tries to go potty 30 minutes before bedtime, then once more as lights go out.

4) Trial of no pull-ups. Especially if you have noticed that her pull-ups are less wet or dry in the morning, try having her wear underwear to bed. Protect the bed with a waterproof cover and protect her sheets with waterproof, washable overlay pads. The ones with the tuck-in sides are the best. If a couple weeks pass with no sign of progress toward dry nights, restart the pull-ups and know that there will be a better time to try this later on.

5) Don’t allow pull-ups to be worn while she is awake. Put it on last thing before lights out and take it off first thing in the morning. Some children will wet the pull-up as they are waking up in the morning, just because they know it is there.

6) Remind your daughter if she wakes up for any reason or if she comes to your room in the night, she should use the bathroom at this time, even if she doesn’t feel she needs to.

7) You can introduce a bedwetting alarm to help her speed up that brain-bladder connection if your daughter gets to 6 and is still having nighttime accidents.

8 ) Walking your daughter to the bathroom before you go to sleep probably does not speed up the development of dry nights but there is one less voiding in the bed.

In most cases, children do not have control over their nighttime wetting and this behavior is not reflective of your parenting skills. There is no need to feel parental guilt; being kind and supportive is much better. Punishment is not warranted and will not speed up the development of dry nights. Be patient and know that each child develops at a different rate.

I’m so glad that you are looking for a bed wetting solution now so he has time to stop bed wetting before summer comes. Since the average child takes about 10-12 weeks to get to dryness using a bed wetting alarm, starting now will most likely enable him to be dry by his summer campout. Bed wetting alarms speed up the ability of the brain and bladder to make their connection in the nighttime. Waiting without doing anything would probably find him still wetting by the time summer comes. As you can read in our product reviews, most families are overjoyed at the success that bed wetting alarms bring to their children and often wish they had used the alarm sooner.

The two most popular alarms for his age group are the Malem Ultimate Selectable alarm in the Camouflage or Royal Blue color or the Malem wireless alarm, if he does not wear a shirt to bed. The Malem Ultimate Selectable alarm unit fastens to his shoulder, where the sound and vigorous vibration come from. This alarm allows him to pick his “ringtone”, which many of the kids enjoy doing. If he gets used to one tone and doesn’t respond as quickly, he can select another of 8 tones. The small Easy-clip sensor securely fastens to the outside of his own underwear.

The Malem wireless alarm is well suited for kids who prefer not to have the alarm unit on their shoulder. The wireless receiver, where the sound comes from, should be placed on his dresser so that he has to get out of bed and walk over to it to turn the sound off. If your son has begun waking to an alarm clock to get ready for school, this might be a good choice. Since his brain has connected the importance of waking to his alarm clock, he should be able to connect the importance of waking to his bed wetting alarm sound. This alarm also allows the choice of one of 8 sounds, so he could choose one similar to his alarm clock. This alarm does not vibrate. Another wireless option that does have an optional vibrating cushion is the Rodger wireless alarm. The vibrating cushion is activated at the same time as the sound and would be placed near his body.

You may want to have him choose which of these alarms he is most likely to use. Any of them will be effective in helping him get to dryness before his summer camp out. The Starter Kit, with any of these alarms included, also features the book “Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness”, which walks you through what to expect when using an alarm and two waterproof overlays which lie on top of his sheet. Overlays make middle of the night changes quicker and save on laundering sheets every day. The best part is that you save over $20 when you order these essential items together.

Deciding when your family and your child are both ready to work on achieving nighttime dryness is very individual.
6 things to consider are:
• your child’s temperament
• family stressors-pick a low stress time to begin
• your child’s goals and motivators-wanting to work on becoming dry is important
• your child’s age
• whether they have had any dry nights-a 4-5 year old child with many dry nights may continue to get to dryness without much intervention, a 6-7 year old who has never had a dry night might need a little more help
• ability to be reliably dry during the day-day dryness should be achieved before tackling nighttime dryness

Parents know their own children and their own family dynamics better than anyone else. There is not an absolute “right age” for everyone so you will have to be the judge of that. Remember that you do not have to wait for your child “to grow out of it” because there are such effective steps you can take to end bedwetting within a few weeks or months.

You can compare treating bedwetting to treating acne in teenagers. When your teen is bothered by acne, you can intervene and begin some treatment. Products will not be consistently used when they are not motivated or bothered by their complexion. When your teen is concerned about acne, you certainly would not want to say, “Don’t worry, in a few years, this will be over. We don’t need to do anything”. You would provide the most effective products that are available to shorten the years that he or she would have to deal with it. Both children with bedwetting and teens with acne are thankful for parents who help them through these rough phases of growing up.

It sounds like your son is very motivated to get to dryness. You have pinpointed several reasons why setting an alarm clock to sound at an arbitrary time is not an effective method for helping your son get to dryness. Because you are unable to predict exactly when your son will need to urinate, you are unable to set the clock to alert him precisely at the right time.

Because bedwetting alarms sense wetness, they do not sound until the precise time that wetting is occurring. If he doesn’t wet or need to go to the bathroom that night, the alarm won’t sound. If he needs to go twice, the alarm will alert him twice. This precise timing is what allows the brain and bladder to make that important connection. Your son will begin to be alerted when he is wetting and conditioned to wake up to a full bladder.

Parents often ask, “Isn’t it too late to be alerted if the urine is already coming out?” In the beginning, the bladder may completely empty before your son or you can respond. Over the first few weeks, however, the usual response is that the urine flow stops at the sound of the alarm. Instead of a large wet spot on the bed, the spot is reduced to a quarter sized spot on the underwear. Urine remains in the bladder and can be emptied in the toilet. Ultimately, his brain will alert your son to wake up before urination happens.

Your son is exactly the type of child that bedwetting alarms work so well for. You don’t have to wait for years for his brain and bladder to make that connection. The alarm will sense the wetness and alert him and you that the wetting is occurring. Help him get up and walk to the bathroom, even though initially, most of the urine will come out in the bed. (Washable, waterproof overlays that lie on top of the sheet are very helpful at this stage). Over time, his body will begin to stop the flow of urine at the sound of the alarm and he will have urine left to empty in the toilet. Eventually, his body will alert him before the wetting occurs and he will wake up to urinate in the toilet or hold it until morning. Juice may trigger bedwetting in some children. The book, Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness, that comes with the Starter Kit (along with the alarm and
overlays), has a complete list of foods that may affect the frequency and amount wetting. Temporarily stopping the juice and restarting after a couple of weeks of using the alarm will help you see if it makes any difference in how frequently the alarm sounds.

Parents worry that the bedwetting alarm sound will wake siblings but this usually is not the case. Siblings quickly learn that the alarm is of no concern to them so they roll over and go back to sleep if they do hear it at all. The wearable and wireless alarms all stay attached to your child’s underwear so move as he moves in the nighttime. I would not recommend a pad type alarm because he could roll off of the pad and the urine wouldn’t be detected. I would recommend our Malem Ultimate alarm, with sound and vibration, or the Malem Wireless alarm, if he prefers not to have the sound come from the unit on his shoulder. The sound comes from a receiver that can be placed on his dresser. Both attach to the outside of his own underwear with a durable easy-clip sensor.

By far, these doctors recommended bedwetting alarms as the first line of treatment for children and families who are ready to get to dryness. Most were familiar with the on-going research that proves that bedwetting alarms are the most effective cure for bedwetting. Some had concerns about the cost and safety of medications which could be prescribed for bedwetting. All were dismayed about the fact that health insurance often covers expensive medications but frequently does not reimburse for inexpensive bedwetting alarms. Two doctors stated that they had written appeals to their insurers about this situation. Even though it might take less time to write a prescription, many doctors offered information about bedwetting alarms and how effective they are to their patients. They told their patients that it is not a quick fix but a permanent cure that pays off in the whole picture.

Many of the physicians had used alarms for their own children with bedwetting and stated that they share this knowledge and experience with their patients. At least 6 came to our exhibit and thanked us for speaking with them last year about their own children. Their success stories were fun to hear about. About a third of the health care providers had never seen or touched an alarm, even though they recommended them.

We had working samples of different styles of bedwetting alarms for them to learn about. Comments we heard were, “Wow, this is much smaller than I thought it would be.” “This is easy enough for the kids to hook up themselves.” “The ones with the receiver for the parents’ room are a great idea”. “This looks and sounds like a toy- I can see why kids wouldn’t mind using this”. We enjoyed talking to new doctors in their residency and medical school, who were eager to see current products. Their lectures on urine and stool problems did not cover much about treatment and types of bedwetting alarms.

My goal was to remind the medical community that using a bedwetting alarm can effectively eliminate years of embarrassing wetting episodes. Any school-aged child who suffers from nighttime wetting can benefit from this simple device.

Many families have similar concerns.  After adjusting to the new school schedule for six weeks or so, this should be a fine time to begin using an alarm.  Having a regular nighttime routine, as most families do during the school year, is good when beginning alarm use.  You could start the alarm on a Friday night or over a long weekend so you can see what his initial response will be.  Even though his sleep will be interrupted by the alarm when the wetting occurs, most children go back to sleep immediately after getting up to go to the bathroom.  Many have little memory of this in the morning.  Using the waterproof mattress overlays (that come in the Starter Kit or can be purchased separately) on top of his sheet make middle of the night clean-up very easy and quick.  Because the alarm goes off only when his bladder needs to empty, it’s actually less tiring than setting an alarm clock or parents walking their child to the bathroom.

The parents are the ones who may feel a little sleep deprived during this initial phase.  Because your son may need your assistance, you should respond when the alarm sounds.  Insuring that he responds correctly by getting out of bed after turning off the alarm helps him to make faster progress.  Once he can do this independently, you no longer have to respond.  Some parents find that it can be difficult to go back to sleep.  Knowing that the worst will be over in two or three weeks is helpful.  Some parents take turns getting up to the alarm or alternate nights.

Getting to bed on time and being well rested is as important for doing well in school as it is for learning to become dry in the nighttime.  Remind him to double void, about 20-30 minutes apart, before bed and help him to get homework done early so he can have a regular bedtime.  He can be successful in school as well as in conquering bedwetting.

Enuresis is the medical term for bedwetting and is defined as the involuntary passage of urine in the night by children older than 5 or 6 who should have developed nighttime dryness. About 90% of children have always had bedwetting, also know as primary enuresis. The other 10% have had at least 6 months of dryness, then resume wetting, which is known as secondary enuresis. We know that bedwetting is inherited and that the chance of a child bedwetting is 44% if one parent had bedwetting, up to 77% if both parents had bedwetting.

There is no single, simple cause for enuresis. Some factors that play a role in bedwetting are:
-Decreased arousal from sleep in response to a full bladder
-Small bladder capacity
-High nighttime urine production
-Constipation
-Other factors, such as evening fluid loading, medications, attention problems, urinary problems, sleep apnea

Since there no single cause, looking at multiple factors is important. Bedwetting alarms address the decreased arousal from sleep by helping your child to develop the ability to wake to a full bladder. Small bladder capacity may change as your child grows older but bladder “stretching” exercises do not seem to speed up this process. High nighttime urine production may be adjusted by drinking earlier in the day. The other factors listed above can be looked at by your health care provider if you have concerns for your child.

The biggest thing to remember is that your child is not wetting on purpose and primary enuresis is seldom due to emotional or psychological issues. Being supportive and offering a solution such as a bedwetting alarm when your child is ready is a good way for parents to help their child stop bedwetting.

When some people ask about a bed wetting mat, they are inquiring about a moisture sensing alarm mat that their child sleeps on. This type of bedwetting mat is plastic or vinyl with a moisture sensor that sounds an alarm when it gets wet. Your daughter probably doesn’t need this type of mat alarm yet. If she is still wetting in a year, using a moisture sensing alarm is a good way to help her achieve complete dryness.

SJ writes, “My 9 year old needs help! I even offered to buy him a favorite Lego set if he didn’t wet for 7 nights. He stayed dry one night but has wet every night since then. I don’t know what other motivation he needs”.

Offering a reward for something your son has no control over can be counterproductive and very frustrating. I’m sure your son would love the new toys but he doesn’t know what steps he can take to get there. Even if he cooperates with limiting evening fluids and empties his bladder before going to bed, he does not have a method for getting up if he needs to in the nighttime.

Introducing a tool, such as a bedwetting alarm, to help him to make a change is very effective. Instead of sleeping through the wetting episode, now both your son and you will be alerted that wetting is occurring.

Initially, I recommend rewarding cooperation, something that he does have control over. By cooperation, I mean hooking up the alarm before bed, getting up as a response to the alarm (it is ok if mom and dad help him with this part) and double voiding before bed. Double voiding means urinating twice, about 20-30 minutes apart, before going to sleep-even though he doesn’t feel the need to urinate again. Your son can easily accomplish all of these things and earn a sticker or token as a reward for his cooperation. The important thing is that all of these things are necessary steps on the road to dryness and you’re helping to condition him to do these things. Dry nights will follow. Initially, he does not have control over whether or not that night will be a dry one. Once he does begin to have dry nights, if you want to add two stickers or tokens for dry, that’s fine. If a certain number of tokens equals a new toy, he does have the ability to earn that just by cooperating and trying to do his best.

Taking calls from the listening audience was interesting because you didn’t know what question would come in next. Although many of the questions centered on toilet training, one concerned parent of an 8 year old daughter with nightly wetting called in. To listen to the broadcast, simply click here.

I highly recommend listening to 98.1 KISS-FM, in the San Francisco Bay Area on Sundays from 7-8 am or you can listen to any of the past shows by going to the website, http://www.childhoodmatters.org/index.html.

It sounds like your daughter will be very motivated to do what it takes to get to dryness. You can give her the tools necessary to make the transition from sleeping through the wetting episode to alerting and getting up to go to the bathroom. It is so frustrating for the kids to sleep through and have no idea when the wetting is occurring. Moisture sensing bedwetting alarms provide a way for your daughter and you to be notified when the wetting occurs. Initially, she may have little urine left to empty in the toilet. Over time, her brain will begin to make the association that the sound of the alarm means to stop the flow of urine in the bed and walk to the bathroom to empty urine in the toilet. This will eventually enable her to wake up and get to the bathroom when the urge to urinate occurs.

I often use the small and comfortable Pink or Purple Malem Ultimate alarm or the Malem Wireless alarm for girls her age. She can look at and listen to the different alarms on-line and choose which she would be most likely to use. Once she begins using the alarm, she can get out of pull-ups and wear regular panties to bed. The Starter Kit, with the alarm, two mattress overlays (which help with middle of the night clean-up), and my book, Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness, is your best buy.

Giving her some control over her wetting is sure to help with her feelings of frustration and eliminate her tears at bedtime.

I think you have identified an important piece in getting to dryness–wanting to do so. At some point in time, your son will indicate that he is ready to tackle getting to dryness. You can wait until he is ready without any untoward effects. As far as your daughter goes, I certainly do have families where one sib has used an alarm and now a younger sib really wants to use it, too. You know your children better than anyone
else. If your daughter wants to try the alarm for a few weeks, you should begin to see progress by then. If it becomes a source of frustration for her, you can delay it a little longer. I will tell you that in families where a younger sib becomes dry, the older ones take note and do what they can to get to dryness as well.

Children are all so different in their response to new situations, new sounds, and new feelings. I want to offer you some tips if the loud sound is a concern to your daughter.

• Describe the bedwetting alarm in a different way, perhaps a bedwetting alert or a bedwetting reminder.
• Let her listen to the sounds, both on-line as well as when you receive it.
• Play with the alarm, turning it on and off many times, so that she can get used to the sound it makes. Have her hold it in her hand and turn it off and on herself.
• Attach the alarm to a dry pair of panties. The alarm is silent. Then attach it to wet panties. Let her observe how the alarm works to let her know in the nighttime that wetting is occurring.

When she uses her bedwetting alarm:

If the loud sound is still a concern, you can offer the turn down the volume (on the wireless alarms) or position the alarm further from her ear (with the wearable models).

Her actual response in the nighttime has to do with the time in her sleep cycle that the alarm sounds. Early wettings, within a couple of hours of going to sleep, are common when first starting an alarm. During this phase of sleep, it’s common for kids (as well as some adults) to be disoriented, possibly combative, say things that don’t make sense, cry or not know the way to the bathroom. Many of the kids have no memory of this in the morning. If she remembers this as being scared, remind her that it’s just a sound and her brain isn’t quite used to that noise yet. After using the alarm for a few nights, her brain begins to figure it out.

In my practice, I see that wetting early in the sleep cycle usually stops after a few weeks. When the wetting takes place later in the sleep cycle, a much different response is observed. Closer to morning, your daughter most likely will know what the sound means, know what to do next or at least be able to reason with you.

Anticipate her nighttime response and reassure her that you will be there to help her if she can’t remember what to do when the alarm sounds. If your reassurance isn’t enough right now, maybe this is not the right time to begin using the alarm. Let her know that you and her bedwetting reminder will be ready to start when she is.

I tried to respond with equal seriousness, but it was everything I could do to keep my chuckles to myself. His parents didn’t say a word. I reassuringly told him,” Bedwetting alarms do not scare Santa. He has heard other boys’ and girls’ bedwetting alarms on his past trips and no one has ever reported to me that they did not receive their presents. Many kids are so excited on Christmas eve that they don’t sleep very well and their alarms don’t even sound.” A look of relief came over his face as he exited my office, his alarm in hand.

Note to myself: I can never predict what obstacles a child might be worried about. Things that adults might consider to be a challenge may not even be a concern to a child. Always ask about questions and concerns, and then answer them as honestly as possible.

I see many older children like your son who are having some dry nights but not dependably dry yet. I use bedwetting alarms with success in these kids. I often use the Rodger wireless alarm because it is so easy to hook up. Your son would just wear the specialized briefs each night. Once the briefs detect even a small amount of moisture, the transmitter causes the receiver plugged into the wall to sound. Your son has to get out of bed to turn the alarm off and can go to the bathroom while he is up. He will be alerted more quickly than he is now so has the opportunity to learn precisely when the wetting is occurring and get up before the flood occurs. Over time, his body will learn to wake him before the wetting occurs. If he starts with this soon, he should be dependably dry before his trip in March.

First, I will say that I do not know of any sure way to prevent or even predict which children will have bedwetting. Since heredity is a factor, there is higher probability that siblings will be affected, especially if one or both parents have a history of bedwetting. Other factors, such as bladder capacity and level of sleep are also areas that parents have little control over. In most cases, children do not have control over their wetting and this behavior is not reflective of your parenting skills. There is no need to feel parental guilt; being kind and supportive is much better. Punishment is not warranted and will not speed up the development of dry nights.

Some techniques that can be useful:

• Suggesting that after dinner beverages be plain water, not juice or milk; not allowing bottles or cups of fluid to be in bed with child
• Double voiding before bed, that means voiding twice, about 20-30 minutes before lights out (once before brushing teeth and getting into pajamas, once after books are read and lights go out)
• Wearing a disposable pull-up if consistently soaked at night
• If dry mornings are being observed, can transition to cloth underwear and a waterproof mattress overlay on top of the sheet to protect mattress
• If child is awake for any reason in night, remind him or her to use the potty
• Walking child to bathroom when parents go to bed probably does not speed up the spontaneous development of dry nights, but does allow one more voiding to be in the toilet
• Use night lights to illuminate the way to the bathroom
• Make sure that your child has regular bowel movements and drinks enough during the day to feel the need to urinate at least every two hours while awake
• If child is over 5 or 6 and still having nighttime accidents, can introduce a bedwetting alarm

I am frequently asked this question, especially by parents who have more than one child in Good nites or other disposable underwear. Keeping children dry and sheets clean can be frustrating for parents so using disposable pull ups and plastic pants can certainly help with this. Until a child and their family are ready to move to the next step, this can be a huge time saver. Wearing Good Nites and other waterproof protection is certainly important in situations where laundry facilities are not handy or sleepover/ camp situations where being discreet is of utmost importance. It’s a great advantage to have these products available.

If you begin to notice that your child is waking up with a dry pull-up more often, trying a challenge of a couple of weeks without protection is recommended. During this time, using a mattress overlay, which is a waterproof pad that lies on top of the sheet, is prudent. Overlays are a fabulous product for decreasing laundry load and keeping children comfortable. If wetting occurs, you simply remove the overlay, replace it with a clean one, and have your child go back to a dry bed.

When your family is ready to take the next step toward dryness, a great time to transition to cloth underwear is when you begin using a bedwetting alarm. The bedwetting alarm senses the moisture from the underwear, alerting parents and child that wetting is occurring. A bedwetting alarm is an effective tool to help your child’s body make a change in the way it responds to a full bladder. If your son persists in having nightly wetting with the pull ups over the next few months or year, he is a great candidate for using a bedwetting alarm to help him get to dryness.

PLM, first of all, reassure your son that there are still effective options available. Because children and teens with bedwetting usually sleep very soundly through the bedwetting episode, it usually takes more than a discreet vibration to alert them that wetting is taking place. Parental assistance is important, even at this age. Pager alarms, which vibrate only, do not allow the parents to be alerted to provide the necessary assistance. The only way for a parent to know that the wetting is occurring is for them to hear a sound. Once you hear the sound, go to your son’s room and remind him what he should do next. Remind your son that he needs to get up and walk to the bathroom, especially if you notice he is trying to roll over and go back to sleep. Be persistent. Over time, his brain will make the association that he needs to respond to this sound and get up to go to the bathroom. He will become more independent and stop the flow of urine more quickly as time goes on. The average time it takes to get to dryness is 10-12 weeks so make sure he has realistic goals. Committing to using the alarm for this long is important to his success but the results are well worth the effort that it takes initially. I have personally seen hundreds of hopeless teens get to dryness using a bedwetting alarm that works well for them.

My alarm pick for this age group is the Rodger wireless, which sounds from a unit plugged into the wall. The user has to get out of bed and walk over to the wall to turn it off once it has sensed the moisture. Once he or she is out of bed, they should just head into the bathroom. The Malem wireless is another option. The receiver can be placed anywhere in the room since it is battery powered. It isn’t quite as loud as the Rodger alarm, however. The Selectable Malem Ultimate is a third option. This alarm provides sound and vibration both and allows the user to choose the ring tone that alerts them best.

Urologists around the country agree that this can be a common and frustrating problem that is best handled by frequent urination on a regular basis. Emptying the bladder regularly eliminates the urgent messages that sometimes result in urine leakage. The difficulty arises when children get busy with other activities and lose track of time. Telling a child to go potty every 2 or 3 hours is a hard concept to grasp. Even remembering to go to the bathroom before lunch or recess can be difficult. A discreet vibrating wrist watch is a reliable tool for providing a reminder to go to the bathroom.

We carry several vibrating wrist watches that are perfect for this purpose. Our top selling watch is the Vibrowatch. Up to 12 specific times can be programmed to coordinate with your daughter’s schedule. The watch vibrates for about 20 seconds and is difficult to ignore. It comes in several different colors and has a durable plastic band. Vibrating watches are generally a little larger than time telling watches to accommodate the larger battery.

Starting the new school year off with a reminder watch is likely to eliminate many of the embarrassing accidents she had last year. You can consult her teacher about the best toileting times and make sure she has free access to the bathroom when her watch reminds her to go.

“I can’t thank you enough! Your product not only worked but, was effective in four days! After working with my son for a year, I finally found your website and read the parent reviews. I thought let’s give it a try!

We bought your Rodger Wireless Bedwetting System, which is very kid friendly. We called it his happy little helper! The first night he wet his bed like usual although, change was already in motion. That night he woke up with the alarm, pushed the quick off button, went to the potty, and easily changed the transmitter to the second dry pair of underwear. The second night we began to see progress. The alarm went off and he only had a little bit of wetness in his underwear. I couldn’t believe he was already connecting that he needed to stop wetting! On night number three, the alarm went off and there was barely a drop in the underwear. Wow! This just shows how accurate and sensitive this product truly is! On the fourth night: VICTORY! I couldn’t believe it. The next morning, HE WOKE UP DRY! This was the first time in a year that this had happened. The more amazing fact is that it has now been a full month since that first night and he has still not wet the bed (not even once)! He even had a sleepover for the first time ever!

I had to write you this letter so that perhaps you could share my story with other parents going through this. I know it was the parents that wrote on your website that prompted me to purchase the system. I’m a teacher and on a tight budget but your product was worth every penny! It probably saved us money in washing, pull-ups, and bedding! So, I give you my sincerest thanks for helping my family!”

In my experience, kids with bedwetting aren’t wetting because of laziness. They truly are not interpreting signals from the bladder that indicate it is time to wake up and get to the bathroom. Many kids feel a real loss of control when dealing with bedwetting. They may start each night with the best intentions and wake up each morning soaked. “I will try to get up and go to the bathroom” changes to “Oh, no, I wet again”. After experiencing this night after night, many just give up or act like they don’t care. Parents interpret this as laziness or not willing to make a change. Hiding dirty laundry can be less humiliating than facing parents with yet another wet bed.

Bedwetting alarms are the best tools for helping the kids develop some control over bedwetting. The alarm provides the alert that they aren’t getting from their own bladder. If the kids don’t hear the alarm, parents can temporarily help because now they know when the wetting is occurring.

Developing a plan of action for child and parents together helps with compliance. Wearing the alarm, double voiding before bed, using an overlay on top of the sheet to decrease laundry burden and removing dirty sheets from room should be part of the plan. Once kids begin to see that you are working together with a concrete plan, they become more compliant. Over time, an increase in dry nights is the result of their hard work.

Many families struggle with knowing when to discontinue disposables without having a large increase in the daily laundry. Washable waterproof mattress overlays are a great product for this. Overlays are reusable, waterproof absorbent pads that lie on top of the sheet. When wetting occurs, it’s easy to remove the pad and replace it with a clean one. Since the overlays have a soft, quilted top layer, kids find them very comfortable to sleep on. The overlays with the tuck in sides are the ones I recommend. The extra length of cloth on each side of the pad enables it to be tucked between the mattresses, securing it in place for the entire night.

This is a good time to transition from wearing disposables every night. Not only will you save money, but your daughter will begin to sense what wetness feels like and may begin to experience more dry nights. If she does have a wet night, all you have to wash is the overlay.

Overlays are nice for travel, too. They can be used in hotels for extra protection or inside sleeping bags for kids who are dry most nights but want extra assurance. Overlays are available in several sizes; to fit twin, full or queen sized beds.

The way in which parents approach the child with enuresis can be a source of conflict between parents — especially since there is no one cause and treatment. A parent who was enuretic themselves may share some experiences but may choose not to relive the humiliation they felt. Often this wasn’t previously discussed with their spouse. The extra workload of changing bedding and getting the child up during the night may cause even the best parents to become frustrated with their child.

The good news is that ineffective parenting most often is not to blame for the bedwetting. Bedwetting is inherited and often has to do with a combination of factors, such as small bladder capacity, sound sleep and a delay in the development of that brain-bladder connection. We know that most of these kids are great students, athletes, musicians etc. without an underlying psychological component. It’s no one’s “fault” and the good news is that effective treatments do exist.

Some parental guidelines:

Seek Treatment. Physicians and parents should not “ignore” children with nocturnal enuresis after they have reached 6 or 7 years of age. Do not accept “He’ll grow out of it” as an acceptable solution. Effective use of bedwetting alarms is a treatment solution that can eliminate years of wetting for the majority of children with nocturnal enuresis.

Do Not Punish Your Child. Unfortunately, findings suggest that 20-36% of parents have punished their children for bedwetting. Punishment can take the form of withdrawal of privileges, increased expectation of household chores (cleaning and laundry) and can even escalate to verbal and physical abuse. Since these children have no control over their wetting, punishment is inappropriate.

Children with Enuresis May Have Lower Self-esteem and a Less Positive Self-concept. Children with enuresis often go to great lengths to hide their wetting from other family members and their friends. Parents report finding wet sheets and clothing while their child denies that they wet. Avoiding sleepovers or making excuses to be picked up early are common. As the child reaches middle and high school, overnight school trips and camps are avoided. Since developing independence is a normal developmental task at this age, enuresis can impact this. Shame, inferiority, and feelings of isolation are common. Often the child feels they are the only one with this problem.

Treatment is Beneficial. Research does indicate that these feelings dissipate once the enuresis in cured. Children who have received treatment for nocturnal enuresis and achieved dryness have improved scores in social behavior and self-concept.

This is a common complaint. I haven’t met a bedwetting child yet who isn’t considered to be a very sound sleeper by their parents. Actually, children’s sleep patterns in general are different than adults. But in most cases, parents of children who don’t have a problem with bedwetting don’t try to waken their children in the middle of the night.

The bedwetting alarm may sound at any point in the sleep cycle. If the wetting occurs in the first few hours of sleep, your daughter may be especially difficult to wake up, be disoriented or even combative. She will not remember any of this behavior in the morning. I see this frequently in the first few weeks of using an alarm.

Since you can hear the alarm, you should go to your daughter’s room and remind her what she should do next. “That’s your alarm. You need to go to the bathroom now. Get out of bed and turn off your alarm. Let’s go”. Point her in the direction of the bathroom and accompany her if necessary.

Over time, her brain and bladder will begin to realize that the sound that comes from the receiver is a sound that she needs to respond to. After a few weeks of your help, she should begin to react more spontaneously and independently. When the wetting occurs later in the sleep cycle, she will have an easier time alerting herself.

Don’t be a bit discouraged by what you’re seeing so far. Her response is perfectly normal and does not mean that she won’t get to dryness.

When your son is ready to try the alarm again, I recommend some practice sessions while he is awake. Let him turn the alarm on and off 10 times so that he becomes accustomed to the 2 step turn off. Always lift the lever on the sensor first, then push the reset button on the side of the alarm. The alarm is always turned off by doing these two steps in this sequence. After he’s comfortable with this, hook it on dry cloth. Then wet the cloth and demonstrate what happens. Have him turn it off after it sounds. Lastly, when he’s ready for bed, practice several times what he behavior should be when the alarm sounds. Darken the room (with just his night light) and set the alarm off. Remind him what to do next—turn off the alarm, put your feet on the floor and walk to the bathroom. Practice this until he is very comfortable with it.

I also reward cooperation, usually with a star or sticker chart. To earn a star, your son must do 3 things. 1- hook up the alarm at bedtime 2 –walk to the bathroom when it sounds (ok if this is with your reminder) 3- double void before bed. Notice that the reward isn’t contingent on him having a dry night, which he doesn’t have control over. It’s contingent on his cooperation and doing things that he can control. He needs to know that most children begin with many nights of cooperation before dry nights begin to happen. The average child takes 10-12 weeks to get to complete dryness so he should know from the beginning not to get discouraged with slow progress. It takes time to develop new behaviors.